richwhitelesbian:

powerdad bellows at his son “TIME FOR BED!” rowdy son says “no dad fuck off” powerdad starts bench pressing his son till hes dead and then it is always bed time

whiteboyfriend:

poppin your girl’s cherry like

sherlocksmyth:

sherlocksmyth:

one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside

when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again

bagmilk:

mom i can’t go to school today i’m ugly

canyouknock:

when someone wants to borrow your laptop and your search history lookingimage

idreamofjimmy:

neyruto:

i hate the way this website romanticizes jimmy neutron 

Did someone say romance

image

justintimerblake:

*ANGERLY POUNDS FISTS ON THE TABLE* I JUST WANT AN OVERLY ATTRACTIVE BOY TO THINK IM THE HOTTEST THING ON THIS PLANET

drarna:

before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that

swigitty:

It’s a metaphor, see

swigitty:

It’s a metaphor, see

jetbag:

me: im going to fucking stab you

straight white boy: haha then what? ;)